Their openers aren't reliable, their tail is weak, and their fielding isn't impressive. Does that stop them from winning Tests spectacularly? Of course not
The Lord's Test was one of those matches that makes you feel slightly sorry for those uninitiated into, or unpersuaded by, the wonders of cricket. For example: all those ancient Romans, Incas and suchlike born tragically in the wrong place and at the wrong time; the elephants, sharks and stick insects cursed by being created as non-cricket-watching species; most Americans; my brother; N Srinivasan; and certifiable buffoons.
They missed a sinuous drama of ever-cranking tension, burst in the end by a thunderously stump-clattering denouement, and scenes of glorious, infectious Pakistan delight. As all great cricket matches are, it was speckled with individual and collective brilliance and bloopers. Unlike most great cricket matches, it also featured a 42-year-old scoring a century, a legspinner taking ten wickets at Lord's, a player taking 11 wickets and batting for almost five hours before being out, but still finishing on the losing side, and Nigel Farage, UKIP's quitmeister general, being roundly booed whenever he walked up the steps at the side of the Mound Stand on Friday. In every respect it was a magnificent, unforgettable occasion.
It was the fourth great Test match that Lord's has hosted in the past four years, after similarly captivating contests last year against New Zealand, in 2014 against India, and two years prior to that against South Africa. The latter two were similar to this year's game. All featured tightly contested first innings with scores around 300 (339-272 this year; 295-319 in 2014; 309-315 in 2012). Bowlers held the balance of power, but batsmen were able to score. South Africa's second-innings 351 was the highest innings in these three matches, England's 207 on Sunday the lowest.
The almost identical run rates - 3.05 in 2012; 3.03 in 2014; 3.09 in 2016 - have been unspectacular by modern standards, and only four sixes have been hit in a total of 1138 overs - three in 2012, one in 2014, none in this year's Test. In fact, excluding the 88-over Bangladesh v South Africa Test in Dhaka last summer (reduced to one day's play by a prolonged splattering of entirely scheduled seasonal rain), this was thefirst six-less Test anywhere since England and West Indies failed to clear the ropes at Lord's in May 2012.
Nevertheless, each game has utterly gripped the minds and souls of those who have watched them; each has made you want to dig up the Romans and the Incas, shake them by the scruff of whatever is left of their necks, and shout: "Don't you realise what you are missing?" Or dive into a shark tank and gloat about how much better a good Test match is than swimming around in an ocean trying to find your next helping of seal carpaccio. England, after recovering from three bad fourth-innings starts to force their way back into contention three times, have lost all three. How we have sacrificed ourselves for the greater good of the Test game.
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